Breathe
by Kerrie-chan
Summary: BakuraTea First fic in the unconnected fic RyouTeaBakura series I'm calling Trust. Bakura writes a letter to Tea ending their relationship but Tea will have none of that.
1. Breathe

Breathe

By K-chan

AN: wah!  This fic is in a letter form from Bakura to Tea.  Bakura may be a bit OOC in the beginning.  It's pretty angsty, and gets more so towards the end.  Don't worry though cause this fic **will** have a sequel, from Tea's PoV.  I don't think its as good as the other three I've written this week, but its not bad =)  Oh the song is 'Trust' by Adema  

"_Let me breathe_

_Let me breathe_

I can't even think right now 

Don't both asking me why I'm writing this letter because I can't tell you, and even if I could I wouldn't.  I suppose writing this letter is utterly pointless when I can't even seem to think straight, but I'm writing it anyway.  Maybe then you'll understand.  Understand that what I'm doing is for the best.

_Something's got me_

_Feeling guilty_

_Hurt you slowly_

But so surely 

I won't lie and tell you it doesn't anger me how you somehow make me feel guilty for every thought I have.  You don't even have to _do_ anything and I feel guilty, a feeling that I am not at all accustomed to.  It annoys me and when something annoys me I strike out at it.

I end up hurting you.

Perhaps that is why I feel so guilty when my thoughts and actions are less than…pure.  I know that in the end it will only hurt you.  I would like to say that I don't care, and even if it appears on the outside that I don't, I actually do.  I don't want to hurt you.  Everyone else maybe… but not you, anyone but you.  

_I don't know why_

_Love you so much_  __

_I can't feel_

Because I'm lost 

Everyone of your little mortal friends assumes that I don't have the capability to love… to care… to feel.  But how wrong they are.  Just because I choose not to, doesn't mean I can't.  My pathetic hikari knows just as you do that I am more than capable of caring when I so choose to.  That judgmental pharaoh wouldn't know anything unless it hit him in the head.  Hmm… hitting the pharaoh in the head, a pleasant thought, but alas I digress.  My point is that despite what your friends think I do love you.  There I said it –don't think you'll hear it again.

I never thought I'd fall in love with a cheerful, friendship loving cheerleader, but Ra apparently has a sense of humor.  He thought it grand to make the angry tomb robber spirit fall for the happy optimist.  Che.  I'm laughing so hard.

_Not too much mad_

_As no more_

_Is it you, is it me_

_Is it us or is it trust?_

_Or is it trust?_ __

Trust.  A funny issue when it comes to me.  No one trusts me.  No one but you.  

Why do you?  

The question has plagued me ever since you wormed your way into my dark heart.  Right from the beginning you didn't fear me.  Even when I locked you and your friend's souls in your favorite cards you didn't fear me.  I saw you, cowering behind the boys, but you weren't really cowering were you?  Those stupid boys thought you weak and in need of protection so they stood in front of you, and you just let them think you were scared.  It's so like you, sacrifice your own feelings for others.  In real game rules I could have destroyed you –even before my fucking hikari screwed me over-, but I didn't.  Why?  To think day I don't know what came over me.  Conceivably I had fallen for you even then.  You were the light to my darkness, you intrigued me.

_Pushing into_

_What I want_

_Because I am so_

Goddamn selfish 

As soon as I figured out it was you that I wanted, that made me feel, I went after you.  I always get what I want, if it resists I take it.  If you had resisted I would have taken and made you mine anyway.  But you didn't resist, not even a little bit.  You just gave yourself to me with out hesitation.  It pleased me, you stroked my ego not putting up a fight.  I got what I wanted, but I didn't even think of what you were sacrificing.

You should have lied to your friends.  Said I raped you.  But you didn't.  Why?  What damn it?!  You would have been better off!  Why let yourself love an evil, cold, selfish bastard like me?  Don't lie to yourself… I know what I am.

I'm so alone, empty and lost It's easier to let you go 

Screw the flowery words; I'll just get to the point.  I'm letting you go.  You don't need me, and are better of with out me.  The pharaoh will love you better than I ever could.

Never mind that I'm alone.  I've been alone all my life, and after life, what's so different now?  I am nothing but darkness, why can't you see that?  You insist that there is more to me, that there is good inside of me.  There isn't.  I am nothing.  I am empty.  I'm not meant for your world.  I am destined to wander this world full of science and technology alone until I finally gain the items I seek or am finally destroyed.  Which ever comes first.

_Time will erode_

_The shame and the fault_

_It's easier to let you go_  __

No matter what you think, if you are with me you belong to me, and no one will touch you but me.  However, since I have come to realize that this is not the way things work in your world it is just another reason why the word 'together' cannot be in our vocabulary.

Time will ease the minimal amount of pain that you will feel getting over me, the shame of ever being with me and the fault you place on yourself.  I know you well enough to know that you will blame yourself for me ending our relationship.  Do what you want, believe what you want, I know I do.

_I can't feel_

_Because I'm lost_

_Not too much mad_

As no more 

My feelings end here.  I may have confessed love for you in the earlier parts of this letter, but I find the closer it comes to the end the more my so called 'feelings' die.  I don't need you, and you don't need me.  Don't be angry, if you open you naïve eyes you will understand.  We are no more and you wont see me again.  Don't bother asking Ryou about me because he will tell you nothing, I will make sure of it.

_Time will erode_

_The shame and the fault_

It's easier to let you go 

My decision is easier for the both of us.  It's the end.  You mean nothing.  We meant nothing.  Deal with it.

            Bakura."

_Is it you, is it me_

_Is it us or is it trust?_

_Let me breathe_

Breathe… 

Bakura growled, shoving the piece of paper in an envelope, slapping a stamp on it then trudging out to the mailbox and dropping it in.  It was painful, far more painful than he had ever imagined.  He had never felt such pain in all his long life.  

It was worse than being locked in the shadow realm –which he had experienced first hand twice.  He felt a piece of his soul missing, and as soon as he dropped the dooming letter into the mailbox he was truly empty, just as he told her.  She may have belonged to him, but she made him.  She _was_ his soul, and made him more than just an evil, selfish, power hungry tomb robber.

His fists clenched in an effort to resist ripping the mailbox apart to regain the letter.  He knew what he had to do.  She deserved higher than a criminal.  The pharaoh loved her, and she deserved to be queen.  She was above low life scum, as all angels were. 

He felt the sudden urge to destroy something and, in preservation of his hikari's house, he strode off toward the dirtier part of town.  He would take out his anger and pain on some unfortunate mortal that just happened to be braking the law at that moment.  A question lingered in the back of his mind.

Why couldn't he just… trust?


	2. Unconditional

Unconditional 

By K-chan

AN: *whew* a sequel so fast!  I can't help it.. I fell in love with this fic, really.  Well, this is the sequel and it's a bit limey .. ok it **is**limey at the end so be warned!  Oh Tea may be a bit OOC.. but not much. =)  The song is 'Doesn't Really Matter' by Janet Jackson and this fic goes out to Karigan, you inspired me!

_Doesn't matter _

_It doesn't matter_

_Doesn't matter at all_

Ryou padded softly into his dark bedroom, peering around looking for his yami.  He soon found him lying on one of the twin beds that lay parallel to each other on either side of the room staring up at the ceiling pensively.  His arms were stretched behind his head; he didn't even bother to look in Ryou's direction.  The albino boy sighed and stepped over to his yami's bedside, placing a white envelope on his chest before retreating back to the door.

Bakura's eyes snapped to the doorway and he glared at the slightly smaller young man.  "Go away."  He growled, not even acknowledging the envelope on his chest.

"It's from Tea."  Ryou said softly, dropping his eyes guiltily.

Bakura closed his crimson eyes, struggling with the need to smack his disobeying hikari, also fighting the pain that surged up in his chest at the mention of the auburn haired girl's name.  "I told you-"

"You said she couldn't see you not that she couldn't write you."  Ryou replied stiffly.  He was frightened of his yami, but for Bakura's own good, as well as for the happiness of his friend he would face his fear.  "Besides, she said you lay one hand on me for doing what she asked and you will see her like it or not."

"Get out."  Was Bakura's only reply. 

Ryou nodded and left the room, shutting the door gently behind him.  Bakura sat up and picked the letter up off his lap where it had fallen and glared at it.  His hikari was getting insolent… he made a mental note to punish him later.

It had been only three days since he sent the letter that destroyed his life.  He wasn't going to admit it, but he was terrified of what her letter said.  He shouldn't be scared, he was after all, a long grown man, but something deep inside of him quivered.  With shaking hands he tore the seal of the envelope and pulled out the multiple page letter.  Unfolding it, his eyes widened at the first page.  Only one word was written on it.

_"BAKA!!"_

A blush creeped over his face.  Ok, so she was angry.  That was to be expected.  He quickly shuffled to the next page.

_Doesn't matter what your friends are telling you _

_Doesn't matter what my family's saying too _

_It just matters that I'm in love with you _

It only matters that you love me too 

"Dear Baku-chan or should I say Baka-chan,

Words cannot express how angry I am right now.  Not because you broke up with me, oh no, but that you were too cowardly to do it to my face!  I guess I'm more hurt than angry really.  It hurts that you didn't come to me with your concerns and instead chose to flee.  Really Bakura, I expected more of you than to turn tail and run.  Spineless has never been one of your traits, why now?

However, if you think you're getting away that easy you are sadly mistaking.  You may be letting me go, but I'm not letting you go.  Not now.  Not ever.  

_It doesn't matter if they won't accept you _

_I'm accepting of you and the things you do _

_Just as long as it's you _

Nobody but you 

You feel guilty hm?  You have nothing to be guilty about.  Sure you hurt me sometimes, but that's the way things go.  When people love each other its inevitable that they will hurt each other, that's the way humans work.  And make no mistake, you are human.

You ask why I didn't lie to my friends about sleeping with you, here's your answer:  I didn't see the need.  Why tell them you raped me when it wasn't true?  I gave myself to you because I wanted to, I don't see why you don't get that.  

No one means more to me than you and I don't care if Yugi, Tristan, Joey or Mai don't accept you, I do.  Why should it matter to you?  It never has before.  You've never cared what Yugi or the rest thought.

_My love for you, unconditional love too_

_Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing _

_Cause I'm in love with the inner being _

_And it doesn't really matter what they believe _

What matters to me is you're in love with me 

Have I ever told you that you are a horrible liar Baku-chan?  To me at least, but then I always could see through your lies.  You said your feelings have died

Liar.

You need me and I need you.  The fact is we need each other.  I need your strength and you need my light.  I am _not_ naïve!  Oh and if you call me a friendship loving cheerleader again I'll show you just how wrong you are!** ***Shakes her fist menacingly* Stop laughing.  I'm serious.

My love is unconditional.  Do you know what unconditional means?  It means that no matter what everyone else thinks, what _you_ think, I love you for who you are.  I happen to _love_ that evil, cold, selfish bastard you claim you are just as I love the sweet, caring man that you can be when you want to be.

_You're so kind _

_Just what I asked for, you're so loving and kind _

_And you're mine_

And I can't believe you're mine 

Yes, you're not the conventional gentleman, but if I wanted a gentleman I would have dated Yugi!  I don't _want_ a gentleman, I want my rough, angry tomb robber and no one else.  That includes Yami.  I don't know why you have this inferiority complex when it comes to him.  I understand that he imprisoned you in the Ring, but think about it this way:  if he hadn't then you would have never met me and you would have died a miserable, lonely old man!  Which seems like what your trying to do with the second chance you have.  Not everyone gets a chance at a second life with their memories intact you know!  Stop wasting it.

Ha!  I'm yours indeed.  Yes I am yours, but you are mine.  No one will touch you while you are with me!  And by the way, why would I let anyone touch me when I have you?

_Doesn't matter if you're feeling insecure _

_Doesn't matter if you're feeling so unsure _

_Cause I'll take away the doubt within your heart _

And show that my love will never hurt or harm 

I understand that you're insecure and new to love.  But just trust me.  Trust.  That's all I ask.  I trust you, so I ask the same from you.  Yes you have been betrayed many times in your life, but I am not them.

_Doesn't matter what the pain we go through _

_Doesn't matter if the money's gone too _

_Just as long as I'm with you _

Nobody but you 

Never mind that you hurt me in the past.  What's done is done.  All I care about is now.  Every relationship has its ups and downs, this is one of our downs.  I don't care if you're a tomb robber, a broke one at that, just as long as you're you.  That's all I can ask.  The moment I gave myself to you was the moment I accepted you for what you are.  It doesn't matter if you are like a million times my age, that you used to be a spirit or that you're evil.  I. Don't. Care.  And neither should you.  Just stop acting so out of character.  I like you better when you are your patronizing, cynical, evil self.

*Sigh* I can't believe you think I'd rather be with Yami.  Yes he loves me, but as a friend… at least I think that's all… *shrug* even if it was more it wouldn't matter.  My heart belongs to you.  I'd rather be the tomb robber's concubine than the Pharaoh's queen.

You're love for me, unconditional I see 

And that is where this letter ends.  I love you, and I know deep down you love me as well.  You never cared that I was Yugi's best friend, and should have been your enemy.  Please don't push me away; I only want to love you.  Let me.

                        All my love,

                                          Tea"

_Doesn't matter what they say _

_Cause you know I'm gonna love you anyway _

_Doesn't matter what they do _

Cause my love will always be with you 

Bakura sighed a sigh that sounded more like a growl and flicked off the lamp he was using to read the letter, sending the room into complete darkness.  He knew she would not accept the end very well, but he never expected her to completely ignore his decision.  It irritated him, knowing he would have to go through the whole process again, all the pain again.  It was a thought that stabbed his chest with a whole new kind of pain.  But he couldn't _not_ do it, it was for her own good.

Dropping the letter on the floor, he lay back down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.  It was strange, his eyes were burning… what did it mean?  He snarled, smashing his fist into the wall beside him, leaving a gaping hole.  Why the hell did such fucked up shit have to happen to him?  Why did he have to fall in love?  And with the pharaoh's chosen woman to.  He should have been happy about taking away something from the damned pharaoh, but he didn't.  After all, being queen was better for Tea than being a tomb robber's concubine.

The door creaked open then, bringing Bakura's attention to it.  Turning his head he glared at the dark doorway and growled, "If you value your health hikari, leave me the fuck alone."

"I don't think so Baku-chan." A soft voice whispered from the darkness.

He sat up in a flash, crimson eyes widening and searching the now pitch black room for the voices source.  Before he could react, however, a figure appeared at his bedside.  Small hands landed on his shoulders and shoved him back against the mattress.  The figure swung a leg over his hips so they were straddling his waist and pinning him to the mattress.  Lips came down and pressed themselves firmly to his own, a tongue prying his closed lips apart and invading his mouth.  The hands that were pinning him to the mattress soon left his shoulders and began running themselves over his chest and unbuttoning his button down shirt.

As soon as the last button was unfastened, nimble hands slipped under the material and ran over the smooth expansion of his chest.  He bit back a moan as fingers brushed over his nipple.  Tearing his lips from hers he groaned huskily, "Tea…"

He could almost sense her gentle smile as she pressed kisses down his jaw and neck, sliding herself down his body until she settled with her head in the crook of his neck and her legs resting gently on top of his.  Idly her fingers traced patters on his chest as one of his arms came up, wrapping itself around her narrow waist.  "I'm not letting you go."  She muttered against his neck.

Suddenly Bakura didn't want to fight her, didn't want to give her up.  All thoughts of her best interest fled his mind the instant her lips crushed against his.  Her touch sent shivers down his spine and electric bolts through him.  Why should he give up what was his?  And to the pharaoh no less.  He snorted.  He hadn't ever _not_ been selfish before… why start now?  Smirking he quickly flipped them so that he had her pinned her to the bed, hands on either side of her head, his eyes glinting ferally.  She let out an eep, her cerulean eyes widening.  

"I have reconsidered my decision.  You are mine for eternity little one."  He growled affectionately, leaning down and biting the base of her neck gently, but hard enough to draw blood, which he licked away.  "Mine…"  His voice was becoming more husky by each passing second.

Tea winced as she felt his teeth sink into her soft flesh but didn't make a sound.  She understood that he had the need to mark his territory, and in truth it would be better that way.  Yami would understand that she truly _was_ Bakura's.  "Hai…" She whispered back.

He pulled his head back up so that he was looking her once more in the eyes.  She noticed that his eyes were almost black by then and that the lust, as well as love, was blazing.  He slipped a hand up her shirt and cupped one breast tenderly.  "What do you say we finish off what you so lovingly started."  He whispered.

He would show her that she was his, his for always.  He no longer had any guilty feelings, only a fierce need to protect and possess the beautiful girl in his arms.

_I can't believe my dreams come true _

_I've finally found somebody whose heart is true _

And best of all you love me to 


End file.
